Why Collaborative Divorce?
The Collaborative Law approach to divorce and separation aligns with our natural instincts as human beings. We want to belong, we need community, we need to feel supported. All of those concepts become threatened when we separate or divorce from our primary relationship. In our traditional dispute resolution models for divorce, “shuttle” mediations, or at worst, trials, capitalize on that sense of threat by encouraging the parties to take positions and look out for their own interests...
Collaborative Process: Fear in Divorce
Fear in divorce may be the number one cause of a poor outcome. Fear can manifest through our clients in many forms: victimized, aggressive, impatient, controlling, disorganized, overly organized, or detailed, cold, and uncaring, non-committal, just a hot mess, several of the above, all of the above. Especially where personality disorders reside, fear certainly can inflame and embolden bad behavior. But like a child’s belief in a monster under the bed, the fear is real, it just may be out of proportion or based on fantasy…
Kids are Kids When it Comes to Divorce
When my parents split up, my world was rocked. First, I completely blamed myself. I could have behaved differently, then my parents would have stayed together. Then I blamed my mom, because she was the one who left the marriage. I tried to please each of my parents, so I listened when they told me their side. But I was stuck in the middle, often trying to be the mediator between them. I regressed, acted out towards my mom, in particular. Had tantrums, apocalyptic dreams, the whole thing. I was 37…